Tin Can

Domestic Violence (novel)

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The Method to My Madness Regarding Tin Can

Posted by Jerlean S Noble on February 6, 2010 at 1:35 PM Comments comments (0)
The good man brings out the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by the words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. Matthew 12: 35-37 NIV . . . By your words you will be condemned. I'm sure that's something both my ex-husband and I should have considered. Me, before I said "I do," and him before he decided that he was my god. Not my Heavenly Father, but my little g god because he could only expound power through his fist and his words. I loved this man so much that the very sight of him caused my breath to labor. His every move was pictured in my mind so much that I would lay awake at night thinking of the long sexy gait of his walk, the smile that melted me and the reassuring satisfaction I knew I?d have after he made rough, sweet, salty, sweaty love to me. However, it all came crashing down in mirror sharp shards of disgrace--all piercing me, hurting me, until I couldn?t take it no more. This novel is loosely based on my first marriage and inclusive of other women I've met both abused and/or mistreated by their male companion. I, like other controlled women fit into the woman's anything-to-please-you-just-please-dont-hit-me honey category, including being the breadwinner, the floormat, the shit on me and not in the toilet mode. Some of these women ended up being drug addicts, alcoholics, depressed and so on. I became dependent on the abuse, taking it as love instead of what it really was. I found God and he led me to writing my pain. The tin can is one of the most vulnerable objects in the world. It is used, cut, kicked, stomped and recycled to be used and used again. Very much like I was. The metaphor of the can is that it can become a positive icon. I used it to seedle plants. And as the plants grew roots and began to grow; becoming strong, leafy and beautiful, so did my life. God showed me the meaning of "the battle is not yours". He will win if you give it to him, no matter what the problem is. He'll win, even if he has to use a can to do it.

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